R-13 post.

i am currently thinking of how many slashes i should give to myself when i finally take suicide as a serious option.. a coward's solution to problems.

but..

haha.. that statement was a joke.. it was only half.meant.

i don't plan to commit suicide, not even in the future.

hmm.. what the hell is my problem?

why are these thoughts in my head?

perhaps, somewhere within me still lies rei, the hidden darkness.. onga, matagal na ring 'reish' ang ginagamit ko..

ewan.. weirdo ako eh.

i have my "parts".

ako si krishna. ang taong kilala mo (kung kilala mo man ako)

ako rin si rei. the dark, poetic, artistic, rock-addicted, rebellious, fiery (with emotions and thoughts) part of me.

ako rin, si ish. the crazy one. haha.. the lighter side.. ang masaya, ang na.hhigh, ang 'nature.and.peace-loving' (potek..), ang kid, ang super carefree side.

and making things weirder is reish. nag.converge si rei at si ish.

anong pinagkaiba ni krishna kay reish? hmm.. ewan. parehas lang silang bangag. parehas silang kabuuan ko. parehas nilang mahal si 0301191925. parehas silang ako, at ako lang.

nanlilito lang ako..

ako'y isang dakilang weirdo.

and im happy being this.

weirdo - weird - unusual - iba - unique +it lands on something good anyway+

i suck.

i feel isolated. tormented. a failure. an illusion. a hoax. mislead (by self).

i blame no one but me.

i miss HSS.. badly..

ka.rerealize ko lang nun..

ewan, siguro iba lang talaga ang place na yun..

masaya, you can open up to anybody, magulo, bangag, i got away with f.rg.ry, ewan ko..

nalolonely lang siguro ako ngayon.. sa lugar na kinatatayuan ko.

i blame (for this case) the poeple who messed up with the sectioning. fk.thm.

actually, joke lang yung last part. d ako ganun ka.babaw.

i just can't seem to find my place, or perhaps, i'm the one who's blocking my own way. looking from the same angle, and sticking on the same depressing thoughts.

poor poor kid.. tsk tsk..

ang stupid. ang ul.l..

i wish i'd dissolve into thin air and be gone forever.. going nowhere.. at least not in hell.

hell is the last place that i would want to go to.

seriously, i am afraid of hell.

haha..

ang wirdo talaga.. 'i am afraid of hell'... SO??? like anybody cares..

why speak when nobody will listen?

i am a paranoid.

pero astig, kasi ewan ko.. nanlalamig ako kanina talaga sa skul (actually kagabi) dun sa may creek.. kasi.. ewan ko.. i inevitably thought of snakes or whatever appearing then and there infront of us.

pero ok lang, i was with her and that was enough for me to have the energy to walk.. and run and smile and laugh.

nakakadepress..

haha.. baliw talaga ako.. nadedepress sa blog.. it sucks man, it really does..

fk cacography. fk typo's. fk template (i couldn't make a difference for myself) . . i'll try editting it again, html, at pag di ko sha nabago.. mud! . . arr.

ang korni..

i think of things that i shouldn't be thinking of. they are very unimportant. their value is less than a fkn jeepey ride that increased by 1.50php. why can't this country be a better place for itself? it's becoming more and more of a piece of crap.

but don't get me wrong, i do love the philippines, and it is my mother land.

but i am a crappy child, and i see how far down the country's going to drop.

have i become a pessimist?

i hope not.

i am usually an optimist.

but this post..

it's non.sense.

it's a piece of fkn sht.

i am a failure.

tsk tsk.

a weirdo - that i am.

kung mababaw to, sa tingin nyo.. sabihin nyo lang, i won't mind, neither will i kill you for it.

what else can i do?

ako to. malabo.

i am being eaten by pride, anger, stupidity, painful negativities, and agressive loneliness.

and do i hate myself for all these?

nope.

perhaps you do, whoever you are.

so tell me.

haha.. wala lang..

naisip ko lang na kung minsang iwan ako ng mundo, kailangan lagi lang akong nandito para sa sarili ko..

when all else fail, i may have no one else left but me.

God will always be there, but a human companion still is different.

FRUSTRATED MODE GOING ALL THE WAY. . .

i love 0301191925,

-+reish. krishna. ish. rei. all of me. 111104.