Nescafe. (open up.)

hmm..
(korni yung title.. wala na kong maisip..)
a while ago on the way home, i already had the whole write.up for this post in my head.
now i just dont know where to start.

(oh well, i guess i just did..)

let's just say that i am depressed.

hmm.. yeah.

for the past few days, i had been a very lucky person. i mean, most of the things around me were going just the way i wanted them to -- getting a lot of sleep, a lot of time with ^^, passing Chem, eating a hell lot of chocolates and all, going out quite often, family members getting along very well with one another (my family's not that peaceful, i tell you.), playing different sports a lot, having fun, knowing God more, travelling at 100kph with a very cool atmosphere, and all.. you know, not having much to be problematic about.
but hell yeah, masyadong mabababaw yung karamihan sa mga nabanggit ko.
panget..
pero seryoso, masaya.
it's fun when you just simply have fun, enjoy and pretty much relax.

but things just seemed to be so blurred all of a sudden.

friends? hmm.. let me think about that. parang ang labo.. you don't really know who people are (or at least i don't.) i miss my old friends.. ewan.. ngayon kasi parang may barrier pa rin na nakaharang sa min ng mga taong madalas kong kasama. it's like im there just because i can't be somewhere else.
teka.. di ako ganun ka.unsociable.
siguro di ko lang talaga makasama yung mga taong gusto kong makasama dahil sa conflict sa sked or something..
and things wouldn't forever go MY way.

gades? hmm.. cramming pa rin.

family? teka.. nagdidinner na sila sa baba.. and im here. typing these things.

hmm.. love life? (namumushyhan ako sa term na to.. di ko alam kung bakit.. haha) erm.. ok, i guess.
yun pa, isang malabo.. puros virtual stuff na lang.. wala lang.. para kasing nag.iiba na ang mundo pag nanjan na sha.. teka.. magiging mushy na to.. kaya kung (ikaw!) ayaw mo ng mushy stuff.. scroll down. now. 3.. 2.. 1.. i remember the world being so empty and lifeless before you came (you = ^^ = 0301191925). ewan.. basta.. narealize ko na you are far more important that the way that i thought you were. the thought na ok ka makes me feel good. and knowing you're there makes me go on (wooh.. drama..) pero seryoso lang, kasi normally i'd break down and just give up, go with the flow, downward man ang direction. pero cool kasi you make me want to go to school, to try to improve my grades a bit (though i don't really care bout them. totoo lang n_n), astig din na pag naaasar ako sa mundo isang message lang galing sa yo, and ewan.. basta.. you always make me feel good.. you make me feel and do things that normally don't. asar na in person wala akong masabi sa yo. (haha.. too mesmerized..) and perhaps, even after you graduate, things would still go well for me. at the beginning of s.y. 2004-2005, i just wanted the year to end. but with you being there, haha.. somehow i feel torment everytime i see Christmas lights.. December na.. malapit na.. oh no.. haha.. but hey, i can't stop time, and i can't do or have anything that i want when i want them. so.. acceptance. yun yon. ok lang.. at least, kahit sandali.. (dramachine!! exploding!!)
teka.. siguro medyo marami rin ang nakakabasa nito (prends! woohoo..).. pero what the heck..
no one would care.. confessions.. my dear confessions.. haha.. i love you xoi.. and i'll always be here for you.

Soo.. sinong bumasa nung previous paragraph? haha.. wala lang..

Stars.. oh man.. this is disappointing.
the only refuge that i loved to run to was my hobby of looking at the sky. cool ang sky!
but this time, tsk.. man i can't see a single star.. Nnoooo!!!! wahaha.. careless kasi.. for the third time this year.. mom!! new glasses,, please!? shucks.. Chem bukas.. paano na yung board?? exchange seats.. yun na lang.. haha..

Now i need to put myself together. gather my thoughts, prioritize, be responsible, and do the things that i need to do before the things that i just want to.

help me, God..

waw.. kelangan ko na kumain.. at maghomework..

hmm.. onga.. typing these stuff here made me feel a bit better..

now i can eat. n_n

-+reish.031104.