hey, merry christmas.

christmas to a suicidal freak.

you look for him, yet you can't find
you talk to him, but you can't hear a reply
nothing could make you feel more empty.
nothing but this feeling of separation from the great one

christmas isnt really about a christmas tree or santa claus or greeting 'happy holidays'
no, its not about those pagan things
its not about writing 'merry Xmas' on gifts to give
why celebrate without the 'Christ' in 'merry christmas'?

many seem to have forgotten what its really about
its actually about remembering the birthday
of the child who was born to die for our sins
christmas is about christ, and no other

many have forgotten
well, i havent
but this year i seek to have him in my heart
for lately i cannot feel
lately i feel so empty

empty prayers that dont seem to contain anything but words
empty actions that seem to contain muscle movement alone
emptiness is about not having him there
or at least feeling so

perhaps i have given into too much of the world
the material world which makes me dream
the material world which makes me complete only on the surface
the material world which i want to escape

this christmas, i try to find him once again
we've been there, we've been close
but my materialism has sucked out the good in me
i dont want christmas to be this empty.

R24dec06.