bad day?

i feel lost. i feel sad. i feel so lonely.
but i'm not depressed. and i'm not confused.
i'm just lost, that's all.

why do i keep on coming back to this state wherein i just want to find myself, like i've never found out who i really am. i keep on turning my back on the things that i have told myself a million times that 'i believe in'. but everything just keeps on going into a blur. help me. can anyone help me? i'm finding it hard to help myself.

broken beliefs.
shattered hearts.
evil malfunctions.
lonely spirit.
unuplifting thoughts.
damn late requirements.
indecisive self.

but i dont want to affect anybody.
i want to learn how to keep myself in poker mode, like, nobody would really know how i feel inside. i won't be lying to people, i just won't tell them how i really feel. :D eat me alive. X(

i just want to get rid of all the sadness, of all the restrictions, of all the failure. fine, most of them at least.

i just feel really down at the moment.
i can't even explain it weel. :(
frstrating.

help me, God. make me believe once more.

***

i wasnt even there for him when i guess he finally needed me, just someone to talk to, just someone who will be there to listen and watch out for you. i wasn't there. i slept! early! ngek. whatareason.

kuya, i'm really sorry. i just wish you'll get your all-time wish soon. and i hope that this time i'll be there for you, not sleeping just because i was damn tired and lazy to sit down and finish my homework.

***

we'll all be happy - soon. :)

we just have to hang on a little longer. :)

-+reish.26feb06.