webcam

i though seeing you would be the best for me tonight..

at first, yeah, seeing you all because of an amazing mechanism that we now call a webcam, i felt happy and enlightened. but i wonder why that feeling just went away. flew away and left me feeling incomplete.

seeing you made my heart melt in happiness.. but after a while, i just felt so, empty. incomplete.

seeing you makes me miss you..

and i dont want to miss you.. not yet, at least.. i still have four long months before my earthly nirvana comes. i dont want to miss you. not because i dislike thoughts of you. thats definitely a 'no'. perhaps its just because i dislike the feeling of loneliness, emptiness, and undying unsatisfaction.

without you i feel lonely. without you i feel not only incomplete, but empty. and as long as you are miles away, unsatisfaction comes for a visit once in a while.

suddenly, seeing you gives reality a chance to slap me in the face real hard. you're not here, not here physically, and even if you are, you'd always be a million miles away.. for i know, really 'being with you' shall forever be a dream, shall always be forbidden to come true.

kawawa naman ako, namimiss na kita. :(
-+reish.28aug05.