never satisfied

i can't seem to be able to access my tabulas xyz from this comp.. i cant seem to access any of the tabulas blogs that i know about.. i cant access tabulas at all! >_<

hai.

i still have a bunch of school work to do, yet here i am, blogging. again.

as usual.

i dont know i somewhat feel awfully tired. it seems like i dont want to do anything.. except for thinking of stuff that could happen.. thinking of the sentimental stuff that i usually think of.

so.. am i ruinning my own life?

shyet. i miss the smilies.

anyway.

i realized that yes, perhaps i shall never find true happiness on earth. for if that is possible.. why am i still unsatisfied of the way that things are? why do i hunger, why do i thirst for something that could be a whole lot better? why is it that in me, in the deepest recesses of my mind, i seem to feel this emptiness.. this never-ending loneliness and deppression?

why?

cant anybody save me?

i cant find the answers in myself.. or at least that's the way things are right now.

or perhaps, i have found the answers to my questions.. yet it seems like these aren't the ones that i was expecting to get.. that these aren't the ones that i want to do.. i want something else.. but IS THERE 'something else'?

"sadness is the product of selfishness" -J.Escriva, Friends of God

i still am, one little selfish kid.

-+reish.10july05.