Selfish.

Right now,

in my mind,

I'm singing.

Singing this song.. your favorite song.. Time Stands Still..

I have you in my mind. Stuck there, just there.

Yesterday I felt really good. So good. Ever just so good. Happy. So happy. (ok.. you get the picture.)

Though yesterday, I know that I was so quiet. Quiet there with you. I was supposed to tell you everything that I needed to.

But instead, you did. And I'm just glad that you got what I was trying hard to say even without acctually saying it.

You made things a lot easier to handle.

I don't know what to do.

Everything's just getting blurred and blurred now.

More and more.

Each passing second that I think about it.

I need to do a hell lot more thinking.

Create more mature decisions. Unbiased ones. With an open mind.

Not being selfish. Just facing what is within reality. No illusions.

I know the truth hurts.

And reality really bites.

"I tried to forget that I'm addicted to you. And I want it, and I need it. I'm addicted to you.."

What would be worth more of your time, attention and thinking,

the cheerful thinking,

or the hurtful future of the same road.?

I am selfish.

I try so hard to contradict what others say just to prove or show that I have a greater point.

..Or is it just that I want a lot of questions to be answered?

I want to feel contented.

I want to feel real.

I need to remember that the world's just too wide to be mine and mine alone.

I'm no god.

I am not the best; I am not perfect.

Haha..

I am not the main character of every book.

I am too selfish.

I need to wake up. Wake me up, dear reality.

-+rei.090104.