Selfishness and You. In My Head.

Just today, I earned the courage to do what I have to do to let go of this torment within me. But I guess the weather and timing do not agree with my decision. Like yesterday, classes are suspended due to heavy rains... damn storm. Haha..
So I guess I'll just have to wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
But I guess, I'm glad beneath all these opportunities that were cut short. I had time to realize some things, like I am selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Not that I am like this all the time, but I took notice that I really am human, that sometimes, deep within me, even without my full notice, I see the world as something that revolves around me, though I know that it can go on without me.. Because it is biased and I still stand alone even if I feel that it does revolve around me, which is a great illusion. And that is why I am selfish.
I have reasons for things that lead to me that as if I am the main character, even if I'm not. I'm just too selfish. I need to defeat this selfishness before it defeats me.
I learned that there are far more important reasons in this damn world that just a selfish '...because I don't want to be alone.’
Haha.. I am such a dreamer. For a hell lot of reasons.
I am foolish and uncertain. I think I deserve this torment.
And my greatest torment right now is the thought that this happy feeling within me will soon perish; I don't want ^^ to go.. Yet ^^ should, which is something that I should understand.
Oh well, take care, dude. If you need someone to hold on to, you know how to reach me. And I'll always be here for you. Nothing more but thanks and thanks again.


"Hinahanap-hanap Kita"

'adik sa 'yo'
awit sa akin
nilang sawa na sa ‘king mga kuwentong marathon
tungkol sa 'yo
at sa ligayang
iyong hatid sa aking buhay
tuloy ang bida sa isipan ko'y ikaw
~
sa umaga't sa gabi
sa bawa't minutong lumilipas
hinahanap-hanap kita
hinahanap-hanap kita
sa isip at panaginip
bawa't pagpihit ng tadhana
hinahanap-hanap kita
~
sabik sa 'yo
kahit maghapon
na tayong magkasama parang telesine
(haha.. not applicable..)
ang ating ending
hatid sa bahay n'yo
sabay goodnight,
sabay may kiss
sabay bye-bye
~
sa umaga't sa gabi
sa bawa't minutong lumilipas
hinahanap-hanap kita
hinahanap-hanap kita
sa isip at panaginip
bawa't pagpihit ng tadhana
hinahanap-hanap kita
~
sa school sa flag ceremony
hanggang uwian araw-araw
hinahanap-hanap kita
hinahanap-hanap kita
(haha.. not applicable..)
at kahit na magka-anak kayo't
magkatuluyan balang araw
hahanap-hanapin ka
hahanap-hanapin ka

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